Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
