i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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