Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
