You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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