When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
