Will you blow on my dice?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
