how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
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