Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
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somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
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I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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