Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
