garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
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