come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
