i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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