like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
