The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
