If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.