I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
