i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
