Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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