what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
