Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
