Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
