That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize