Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
