Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
