im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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