I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
