Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
