Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
