Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
