he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
