She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
