I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize