Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
