she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize