I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
