hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
