I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
