How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
