Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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