Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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