We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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