FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
