I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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