She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
