Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
