He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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