Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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