No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
