Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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