Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize