The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I wish i was in the wii world.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
