So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
