like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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