And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize