Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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